Little God of Mischief
by serialkiller13
Summary: The prequel to Babysitting, the Avengers are fight an unknown villain and Loki is hit with a spell that turns him in to a teenager, but the spell effected his memories and Now he thinks Clint and Natasha are his parents; Steve, Tony, and Bruce are his uncles, and Thor is still his brother. this canot end well. Rated T for Swearing, Partying,Getting drunk, Smoking, and some drug use
1. Teenage Loki

**The prequel to Babysitting, I might have too much fun with this, but it's all worth it, so enjoy teenaged Loki for the time being.**

** *o*O*o***

The Avenger was fighting some magician and was losing badly, so they decided to regroup…

"We need to get pass that energy field he has up," Steve said in his captain voice.

"Yes but how do we break the field!?" Clint said.

Then the Avengers heard a whip crack and looked up to see Loki in his cat suit jumping towards them…

"Hey guys," Loki said hanging upside down like a spider from his whip "Need some help?"

"Loki!" Tony said "Perfect timing, can you break the energy field around this dick!?"

"Child's play." Loki said before snapping his fingers and the energy field around the man disappeared, And Loki said "What are you guys waiting for lets kick some ass!"

The Avengers happily obliged and form a tact team taking the Villain down, When Loki came up to him the man spoke "Ah, so you're the cat Loki, I must say you look good in that suit."

"Do I know you?" Loki said confused.

"No, I have read and hear rumors about you," The man said "Your quite the character, Loki."

Then Loki cracked his whip as the man step forward and the man threw some spell hitting Loki and Loki collapsed to the ground and the villain disappeared. Clint and Natasha ran to Loki as he woke up and looked around before falling out of conciseness again…

"Oh shit we need to get him to the medical bay," Clint said picking up Loki and taking him to the Quinjet with the other Avengers trailing behind.

*o*O*o*

They were waiting for Bruce to give them some news on Loki's condition, when he came out he said "Loki's find and not fine at the same time."

"Fine and not fine?" Fury said.

"It's better if I show you guys," Bruce said.

When they step into the room the Avengers and Fury couldn't believe their eyes, there eating a bag of chips was a teenaged Loki who looked at them for a second before going back to eat his chips…

"Odin's beard," Thor said "Loki?"

Loki looked up and said "Yeah, what do want Thor?"

"You remember me?" Thor said.

"You're my brother dude," Loki said.

"Are you well?" Thor asked.

"Are we going to play 20 questions or something?" Loki said "Because Uncle Bruce already checked me over."

"Uncle Bruce?" Tony said.

"Yeah…um… let's talk outside." Thor said.

"Thor what the hell is going on!?" Fury said.

"This spell turn Loki back in to a teenager as you call them and the spell must have affected his memories too, so I know Loki would remember me but as for the rest of you I'm not sure." Thor said.

"So basically, we have a very moody teenaged Loki on our hands for the time being." Fury deadpanned.

"Yep." Thor said.

"Well take your brother back to the tower with you guys and figure something out." Fury said walking off.

"So I think you and Bruce should take Loki shopping first," Tony said.

Thor and Bruce looked at him for a second before Tony said "Just get him whatever he wants while I set up a place in the tower for him." And handed them his platinum card.

"Now go have fun." Tony said before dialing Pepper.

*o*O*o*

Clint, Natasha, Steve, and Tony were waiting for Loki, Thor, and Bruce to come back in the mean time they had business to take care of, by business that means telling Loki's girlfriend Sapphire over Skype….

"So what you're telling me is my boyfriend is now a teenager for the time being and you left him with his brother and the doctor to go shopping." Sapphire deadpanned, that woman look scary even a universe away.

"Yep," Steve said.

Sapphire sighed and said "Look I got a 3 week mission to go on, I don't have time to deal with this, just look after him and when I come back I'll check on you guys, ok?"

Everybody nodded before Sapphire cut the line…

"That went better than expected," Tony said.

Then the elevator dinged and Loki stepped out with an IPhone and was talking to somebody…

"Yeah I know so I tell her I'll look it up on my laptop later but still I'll get them," Loki yapped into the phone. Then Bruce and Thor came out of the elevator with a bunch of bags that they couldn't walk straight….

"Um… guys?" Steve said walking over to help them but stop and did a double take at Loki's appearance. Loki got a haircut and had a green highlight in his hair; he was wearing black leather boots, black jeans, a black t-shirt, he had on black eyeliner, black lipstick, and his nails were paint black. Loki looked like a punk Goth rocker; everybody was so busy staring at his appearance they forgot about Thor and Bruce struggling to hold the bags, when they help them set the bags down, everybody turned to Loki who had stop talking and was texting somebody…

"So Loki," Tony said and Loki looked up "You want me to show you to your room."

"Sure Uncle Tony," Loki said going back to texting and following Tony with Thor and Bruce bringing the bags behind him.

*o*O*o*

After they got Loki settled in his room, they began to unpack what he bought, the man was your typical Goth, all of his clothes were black and he had black make up with accessories. He bought a bunch of electronics; he had an IPhone, a laptop, an IPad, an IHome, Surround Sound Speakers for his computer, and a Kindle. When he pulled out and IPod he gave it to Steve and said "Now you can listen to a lot 40's, 50's, 60', 70's, and 80's music I pre downloaded on there, and get caught up to the normal music soon."

"Thanks Loki," Steve said.

"You're welcome Uncle Steve," Loki said before going on his Laptop and started typing something.

And everybody left him to his space and went into the living room to talk about the situation…

"Well, that was trying," Tony said "That guy didn't more shopping that humanly possible."

"Tell me about it," Clint said. Then Loki walked out of his room all dress up in different articles of clothing and headed towards the elevator…

"Loki where are you going?" Tony said.

"Out with some friends," Loki said "I'm taking my motorcycle Uncle Tony so don't worry about your babies."

"He bought a motorcycle?" Steve said to Bruce.

"Yeah we couldn't stop him," Bruce replied.

"Loki," Clint said "You not going out with your friends."

"What why not," Loki said "We were just going to the Suicide Silence concert; it took me forever to buy the tickets online."

"I said no Loki," Clint said looking at him dead in the eye.

"Dad, come on I'm 16 for Christ sake," Loki said.

Everybody was shocked by Loki calling Clint dad, but Clint kept a straight face and said "You're not going to a concert with people I haven't even met yet."

"Mom, come on back me up here," Loki said to Natasha.

That's when everybody but Natasha's and Clint's jaws hung open…

"I agree with your Dad, Loki," Natasha said "And to make sure you're not going, give me your keys." And she holds her hand out.

"Asshole," Loki mutter and hand his keys to Natasha and storm off to his room and slammed the door and locked it, and moments later very loud music was coming from behind his door.

"He called you guys Mom and Dad," Tony said "How are you not shocked!?"

"Are you kidding me, I was trying to keep it together as soon as the words came out of his mouth," Clint said liking his poker face fall and he looked shocked and panicked at the same time.

"Same here," Natasha said letting her face drop too and revealing she was shocked too.

"So he thinks you're his parents," Steve said "How did that happen?"

"They were probably the first people he saw when he woke up the first time," Thor said "So his brain probably assumed you were his parents."

"But I'm not ready to be a dad yet," Clint said "And I'm Loki's Dad, the man's a moody teenager."

Then Jarvis spoke up _'Sir, it seems Mister Laufeyson has jump out his window and it walking towards a black car with two boys and two girls in it.' _

"The son of a bitch snuck out," Tony said "Are you sure he's not my kid?"

"Tony stop joking around we have to get Loki," Steve said grabbing his shield.

"Wait we don't know where this Suicide concert is," Bruce said.

"Oh, right," Tony said "Jarvis bring up a list of concerts going on in New York and Look for Suicide something."

_'Yes sir,'_ Jarvis said _'Wait time 20 minutes.'_

"WE DON'T HAVE 20 MINUTES, MY SON OUT THERE SOMEWHERE," Natasha yelled.

Everybody looked at her, why she realized what she said she look shocked that it came out of her mouth.

*o*O*o*

An hour later the Avengers where at Madison Square Garden looking for Loki, but the concert was long done and the trail had gone cold…

"We missed him," Bruce said "Let's ask around to see if anybody knows anything."

"Oh my god you're the Avengers," A girl squealed behind them.

"Yeah can you help us," Tony said handing her a picture "Have you seen this person?"

"Loki? Yeah left about a half an hour ago," the girl said "Him, his friend, and I are going to hang at my apartment tomorrow."

"Can you tell us where he went?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah, the Suicide Silence after party on 32nd street on the roof," She said "I'm heading over there now, want come?"

"No, we can get there on our own," Steve said "Thank you Ma'am."

"No problem," The girl said walking away.

"He went to a party;" Clint said "Oh he is so grounded."

"Clint," Tony said "You sound like his dad right about now."

"Oh god," Clint said "Let's just find him first."

"Agreed," Thor said.

*o*O*o*

About an hour later the Avengers were at the rooftop party looking for Loki, they found him, and 2 other boys and 2 other girls on the dance floor, and like everybody Loki's pumping his fist to the beat and drinking out of a red cup….

"LOKI!" Natasha yelled and like that everybody stopped including the DJ, Loki stop mid pump and looked shocked.

"Mom! What are you doing here!?" Loki exclaimed.

"Why are you here?" Natasha said "Do you know how worried your father and I were!?"

"Mom! You followed me to an exclusive party!?" Loki said "Do you know how embarrassing this is!?"

"What's in the red cup?" Clint asked.

"Um…" Loki said "Water?"

"Tony." Clint said. Tony came forward flips his mask open, takes Loki's cup, and takes a sip and says "It 2007 scotch, mix with Absolut Cherry and Vanilla Vodka, With some bourbon, a hint of Jack Daniels and Coke- A- Cola to cover it up, child's play."

Loki looks amazed, shocked, and guilt all in one look, then Natasha grabs his arm and says "Say goodbye to your friends Loki."

"Bye, Maryland, Pixiecorpse, Butcher, and Creeper," Loki said "I'll text you."

"See ya, Loki," The girl said "We'll work on your nickname later."

And Loki got drag into the Quinjet and Steve started the jet to go back to the Tower.

*o*O*o*

As soon as then got back to the tower all hell broke loose with Clint, Natasha, and Loki. They went back and forth with words and Tony, Steve, Bruce, and Thor's heads were watching a tennis match…

"You two just had to come and get me, I would have been back by tomorrow!" Loki said.

"We said you weren't going out, to a concert or a party!" Clint said "And we find you drinking and fist pumping with your so called friends having a good time!"

"I was having a good time Dad!" Loki said "Until you and Mom showed up and ruin my fun!"

"That's enough both of you!" Natasha said "Loki, Your father and I were worried about you ok, and Clint he's just a teenager he wanted to have some fun and he got it, ok."

Then everybody calmed down after that and Natasha said "Loki, we're not going to ground you but I hope you learn that people love and care about you and that we were worried, ok."

"Yes, Mom," Loki said with his eyes to the floor.

"Good now go to bed sweetheart I need to talk with your father," Natasha said as Loki walked away. The male Avengers looked shocked at what Natasha just did…

"Well that was awkward." Bruce said.

"Yeah," Clint said "I can't believe I got into an argument with the teenage version of Loki."

"I can't believe he thinks you're his parents," Steve said.

"I can't believe I didn't ground him," Natasha said.

"I can't believe Loki was drinking," Thor said.

"I can't believe we're having this conversation," Tony said "I'm going to bed."

*o*O*o*

**Well chapter one of Little god of Mischief how did I do? Review please and check out my other too.**

**Luv,**

**Seriakiller13**


	2. The Beach

**Ok, double updates, I spoil you guys too much, any way enjoy the story.**

** *o*O*o***

The next morning Loki made breakfast for everybody as an apology for sneaking out and everybody forgave him…

"So why don't we all do something together to day?" Steve suggested.

"Yes, we can go ice staking," Thor said.

"Thor it's June," Bruce tried to explain "We can't go ice staking."

"How about the beach?" Tony said.

"I'm down with that." Loki said.

"Ok, the beach it is people," Natasha said "We have 20 minutes to get ready."

And with that everybody got the appropriate thing to go the beach with them…

"Ok, so now who's going with whom?" Tony said.

"I'm taking my motorcycle," Loki said "I'll be side by side with you guys."

"Ok, so everybody in the Lamborghini." Tony said.

Loki got on his sleek black motorcycle and started the engine and everybody went to the beach.

*o*O*o*

When they got there Loki went to the bathroom to change, while the rest of the Avengers went to find a stop and set up. When they got done they struck conversations with people nearby…

"I mean it's nice to relax every once and a while though," Clint told a woman reading a book.

"Yeah I just come for my quiet place, you know," she said "And it doesn't hurt to look for a man."

Clint chuckled at that and said "Yeah."

Then Loki walked by in black swimming trunks and no shirt listening to something and woman whistled and said "Damn boy who your daddy!?"

"I'm his daddy!" Clint said falling out of his chair, trying to catch up with Loki.

*o*O*o*

Meanwhile Natasha was talking to another woman…

"I mean us redheads always seem to get sunburn." Natasha said.

"I know ho ho… look at that fine piece of ass," The other woman said as Loki walked by "Damn boy who you momma!?"

"I'm his momma!" Natasha exclaimed scrambling out of her chair to catch up with Loki with Clint not far behind.

*o*O*o*

Meanwhile Thor was talking to some woman about his skin…

"Where I'm from a lot of us are tanned natural," Thor said.

"Hmmm really whoa," The woman said as Loki walked by "Damn boy who you brother!?"

"I'm his brother!" Thor yelled tripping over his chair trying to catch up with Loki with Natasha and Clint behind him.

*o*O*o*

"Hey guys," Loki said to Bruce, Steve, and Tony.

"Hey Loki," Tony said "What took you so long?"

Loki sat down and said "I was changing into my trunks."

"Why didn't you put them on before we left?" Steve said.

"I don't know actually." Loki said. Then Thor, Clint, and Natasha come running toward Loki and Thor said to Loki "Brother you must wear more garments!"

Loki blinked and said "What?"

Then Natasha came up behind him and said "Loki change out of that!"

Loki cocked his head and said "What?"

Finally Clint came up and said "Loki cover all of that up!"

Loki looked confused and said "Speak English people!"

Then Clint said "You look a little revealing what your wearing I just got a comment from the woman I was talking to and she said 'Damn boy who you daddy!' I'M YOUR DADDY!"

Natasha said "Same thing here the woman I was talking to said 'Damn boy who you momma!' I'M YOU MOMMA!"

Thor said "Aye the same happened to me the woman said 'Damn boy who you brother!' I'M YOUR BROTHER."

After said that everybody lost it, they all started laughing, Tony and Bruce had to support each other, Steve was giggling like a little school girl, and Loki was laughing so hard he was turning blue from the lack of oxygen. But Thor, Clint, and Natasha didn't find it funny….

"How is this funny!?" Clint said.

"Because," Tony said "Loki's so attractive you guy got overprotective and worried, it so cute that is fricking hilarious!"

And everybody laugh harder at what Tony said. After a while they all calmed down and at lunch before heading back to the tower, Loki headed to his room to check his e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts. While everybody was in the living room talking…

"Well this was a nice day," Bruce said.

"Yep," Steve said.

"I wonder what Loki's doing right now?" Tony said.

*o*O*o*

Loki was texting Maryland about a party…

**Maryland:** Hey Loki, party at my house can you come?

**Loki:** That depends what time is it?

**Maryland:** 10:00 pm make sure nobody follows you.

**Loki:** Of course I'm going to be there.

**Maryland:** Good Butcher will e-mail you the details.

**Loki:** No problem.

Then Loki went in to his closet to find the right party clothes, _'This party is going to be epic.'_ Loki thought.

*o*O*o*

**Ooooh, is Loki sneaking out again or should he ask this time, you tell me in the review section.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	3. The Party

**Ok chapter 3 people, enjoy it. **

** *o*O*o***

At dinner everybody was chatting about different things and Loki thought to himself _'it's now or never'._

"So mom," Loki said and Natasha turn to him "I was wondering if I could go to Maryland's party tonight?"

Natasha and Clint at each other for a second and then Clint said "You can go."

And Loki jump up and did a celebratory dance before sitting down, and Natasha said "But we want you back in this house by 1:30 am understand?"

"Yes," Loki said "Thank you, thank you!" And Loki kisses Natasha on the cheek and hug Clint before running off to his room to change, leaving Clint and Natasha blushing…

"Jarvis tell me you got that on tape," Tony said grinning.

_'Yes sir.'_ Jarvis said.

"What just happened?" Clint said.

"I think you guys just became awesome parents." Bruce said.

Then they hear a car honk and they all rushed to the window to see a white girl in a lot black leather standing outside…

"Is that Pixiecorpse?" Loki said coming up behind them. The girl waved, and Loki said "Yep, that's my ride I'll be back."

Loki headed towards the elevator and bumped into Fury and said "Sorry Uncle Fury, got to go."

As soon as Loki left, everybody started laugh at Fury who looked shocked….

"Can somebody explain to me what's going on?" Fury said. Tony explained what happened, and Fury said "That's why I'm his goddamn Uncle!?"

"Yep, and your assassins are the parents," Tony said "Welcome to the family Nicky old boy."

Fury didn't look amused, and he said "So why are you two still here?"

Clint and Natasha looked confused before Fury said "You need to be following him."

"What?" Natasha said "Why?"

"We can't leave him unintended for reasons," Fury said "Just follow him and come back."

Then Fury walked off, and the Avengers got into their suits and took the Quinjet to the party.

*o*O*o*

"You got a visual Clint," Natasha said.

"Yep he's smoking and drinking," Clint said "God I hope that's a cigarette."

"Really a cigarette," Tony said "Clint, dude you are so…"

"Don't say anything to provoke them, Tony," Bruce said "When provoke they will attack."

"Thank you, Bruce." Natasha said.

"It's almost 1:00am," Steve said "You said 1:30am."

"I know what I said, Steve" Natasha said.

Then Loki walk over to girl he called Pixiecorpse and said something to her and she and him left the party.

"Are they leaving?" Thor asked.

"It looks like Loki's driving," Bruce said.

They Loki was backing up the car and hit another car and he immediately exited the car see the damage and wrote a note placed it under the wipers and drove off.

"Did he just?" Tony said.

"Yes," Clint said "Yes he did."

"Ok let's head back to the tower," Steve said.

*o*O*o*

The Avengers got home before Loki and Loki pulled up around 1:20am and brought a guest with him…

"Um, mom, dad," Loki said "This is Pixiecorpse, and she needs a place to crash."

"Why?" Bruce asked.

"Well, given the fact that she is both high and drunk off her ass right now," Loki stated "And I was the only person sober enough drive her anywhere, I decide to come home and beg my parents to see if she can stay for the night."

"She can stay, Loki." Clint said.

"Thanks," Loki said and said to the girl next to him "Yo, Pixie you can crash on the sofa."

And the girl slurred "Yourrr the bessst Lokiiiiii." Before passing out on the couch.

"Yep, high off her ass." Loki said.

"Loki are you drunk?" Natasha said.

"I'm little buzzed." Loki said "But I had driven her car into someone else's car, but don't worry I left a note to paid for the damages."

"I'm proud of you," Clint said patting Loki shoulder.

"Also I smoked some cigarettes at the party," Loki said.

"And I thank you for telling us," Steve said.

"Well I'm going to bed," Loki said and Kissed Natasha on the forehead and hug Clint before heading off to his room. Natasha and Clint were blushing like crazy before Tony said "How is he not my kid!?"

And Thor punches him in the arm, "Ow! Hey!" Tony said.

"I'm proud of Loki," Bruce said "He admitted to us that he did a lot of wrong thing and that he was going to make up for them."

"We make pretty good parents," Clint said and everybody looked at him and Clint said "Oh dear god I'm turning into a father."

"Yes," Tony said patting his shoulder "Yes you are."

*o*O*o*

The next morning Loki came out of his room looking fine and woke the girl up…

"Hey, Pixie wake up." Loki said shake her shoulder.

"Loki stop." Pixie said "I'm hungover and coming down from a high."

"I told you not to drink so much at the party," Loki said "And who told you smoke Butcher's good blunt."

"What?" Pixie said siting up "He had the good shit dude how could not smoke it."

"Given the fact I had to drive you to my house, and probably would gotten into a car crash if I was as drunk as you." Loki said.

"But you weren't," Pixie said pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Hey," Loki said grabbing the cigarette and throwing it out the window.

"Dude what the fuck!" Pixie said.

"You're in my house," Loki said "My rents would kill me if they caught me smoking."

"Ok, ok," Pixie said "So can I at least meet your family?"

"After you shower, and brush your teeth." Loki said "I got your spare clothes from your car."

"You're the best." Pixie said and Loki just sighed.

*o*O*o*

**Ooooh, Loki's friend Pixiecorpse is meeting the Avengers, what do you think will happen? Tell me in the review section.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13 **


	4. Baby Loki

**Ok, I have kept you guys waiting long enough, here's the epic meeting between the Avengers and Pixiecorpse. Enjoy.**

** *o*O*o***

The Avengers were staring at Pixiecorpse and Pixiecorpse started back and Natasha said "So, Pixiecorpse….How did you and your friends meet Loki?"

"You can call me Pixie ma'am," Pixie said "and he was shopping for music in the store me and my friend were at and he look kind of lost so I asked him what he was interested in and he said he didn't know so I show him Killing Joke, Suicide Silence, Sex pistols, etc. and Loks here loved it and I told him about the Suicide Silence concert and I introduced him to my friends and we went to the concert and we were about to go home when Butcher said there was an after party going on a rooftop building and so, we go check it out and it was fun."

The Avengers just look at each other and Clint asks "So um…how old are you?"

"16," Pixie said bluntly.

"So um…Pixie do you have a real name or…" Steve said.

"Helen," Pixie said staring at Steve "Helen Walkman."

"Ok…" Steve said. Then Loki walked in and said "Pixie come on we're going to be late for work."

"Work!?" Clint exclaimed "You got a job!?"

"Yeah, I set him up with a job at the music store me and friends work at," Pixie said getting up "I forgot to mention that we need to leave for work in 30 minutes."

"Ok, bye sweetheart," Natasha said.

"Bye Mom," Loki called over his shoulder and walked out with Pixie. When he left everybody relaxed…

"We need to get him back to normal," Steve said and everybody looked at him and he said "What we're all thinking it I'm the one who had the courage to say it."

"Worry not friend Steve," Thor said "I asked the Allfather for a spell to reverse this one and it should be here in about…" Then a box came to view and Thor said "Thank you, Heimdall."

Thor opens the box to see a piece of paper with ancient writing on it and said "When he comes back I just have to read this and he'll back to normal."

"Ok, now we play the waiting game." Tony said "In the mean time I need a drink."

"You always need a drink Tony," Bruce said walking down stairs.

*o*O*o*

Later Loki came home and came into the living room and fell asleep on the couch, Thor read the ancient text and there was a flash of white light…

"Did it work?" Clint asked.

"Uh-oh," Thor said.

"Uh-oh, what's uh-oh!?" Tony said looking towards the couch and what he saw made his jaw drop. There was a 2 year old version of Loki staring up at them with emerald eyes round and unblinking.

"What the hell, Thor!?" Tony exclaimed "You said this would work!"

"Yeah, why the hell is there a toddler version of Loki on the couch!" Clint yelled.

"If this doesn't work, then the spell must not be of known origin." Thor said looking like a kicked puppy. Then the 2 year version of Loki climb of the couch and waddled over to Clint, Clint look around for help on to handle this situation everybody just blankly stared, then Loki hug his leg and looked up at him. When Clint did nothing Loki started crying and wailing, everybody looked at Clint expectantly and Clint pick Loki up and said "It ok, Loki, I'm here."

"Da," Loki said who had stopped crying as soon as Clint picks him up. Clint froze and Loki nuzzled his neck. Tony burst out laughing, followed by the other Avengers and Clint shot them a death glare and said "Not funny."

Then Thor place a hand on Loki's back and Loki looked at him and said "Th'r" and reach out to him for a hug and Thor pick him up and Loki squeal with delight…

"Well, this was an unexpected turn of events." Natasha said. Then Loki looked at he and said "Nat."

Clint was livid "What how am I still his dad and Natasha's, Nat!"

"Maybe he likes you." Bruce said smiling. Loki looks at Bruce and said "Bruce." And reach out to him and Thor hands him to Bruce and Loki snuggles close to Bruce's chest…

"Aww, that's so adorable," Tony said. Loki looks at him and said "Tony." And squirms in Bruce's arms and Bruce hands him to Tony who was smiling at Loki and bouncing him up and down in his arms.

"Well, I think we can handle a baby." Steve said.

Loki looks at Steve and said "Steeeee!" and grabbed Steve's shoulder. Steve picked up Loki and Loki fell asleep on his chest.

Then Clint said "SO, who's going to tell Fury?"

"Steve." Everybody including Thor. Steve looked at them and asked "What why me, Clint's the father!?"

"Because he's less likely to blow up at you." Tony said walking away and called over his shoulder "Loki's sleeping with Clint."

"What?" Clint said "Why!?"

"Because you the father," Bruce said and everybody walk away Steve deposited Loki in his arms before walking to his room. Clint looked at the sleeping 2 year old and mumbled "Be glad you're cute." And walked off to his room with Loki, when he got there Clint laid Loki down on his chest and fell asleep.

*o*O*o*

**So much cuteness, sorry if this chapter's short, my parents might kick me off the computer soon, Review please.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	5. Baby Loki vs Nick Fury

**Yeah so another update, I couldn't leave you guys hanging, so here's chapter 5.**

** *o*O*o***

Clint woke up to somebody poking his eye in the morning, when he opens them he saw Loki sitting on the bed chewing on an arrow…

"Ok, let's not chew on that," Clint said taking the arrow away, Loki just started at him and Clint stared back and said "I'm going to go shower and I get you some breakfast, ok?"

Loki blinked and nodded and Clint went to the bathroom, what he came out Loki was sitting on the bed with a pair of socks, a black shirt, and black shorts…

"Aww, thank you," Clint said "Don't tell anybody I said that."

Loki just smiled and started cooing, Clint got dress and pick up Loki who squealed, and carried him to the kitchen…

"Good morning daddy Clint," Tony said in a mocking tone.

Clint scowled at him and said "Shut up." Loki look at him and said "Da, Clint." Looking very pleased with himself and everybody started giggling.

"Not funny," Clint said trying to put Loki down, but Loki started whining whenever Clint tried to put him down, So Loki sat in Clint lap the whole time…

"This is so cute," Natasha said as Clint feed Loki.

"Yeah Clint you're a natural," Bruce said.

Then Jarvis came over the intercom telling the Avengers to assemble on the Helicarrier…

"We can't leave Loki here," Natasha said.

"Then take him with us, we can just leave him with Fury," Clint said walking to the elevator with Loki.

*o*O*o*

Fury was livid when the Avengers brought a 2 year old version of Loki on the Helicarrier…

"Are you saying that Thunderhead over here turn his brother into a 2 year old!?" Fury yelled "And you expect me to babysit him while you go save the world!?"

"Yes," Clint said with Loki in his arms, Fury raised an eyebrow and Clint said "He thinks I'm his dad and Natasha is just Nat."

Then Loki turned to Fury and said "Fury." And reach out to him. Fury just looks at Loki and Steve said "He wants you to hold him."

"No." Fury said.

"He keeps crying until you do." Bruce said. As soon as he said that Loki started crying and Natasha said "If I have a headache later I'm blaming you, Fury."

"Fine." Fury said taking Loki who stops crying when Fury picks him and snuggles against Fury's chest.

"Aww! This is so cute," Tony said "Well bye." And he and the Avenger walked out of the room to go fight crime, leaving Fury with Loki…

"Agent Hill," Fury said.

"Director Fur…" Hill started but stops why she saw the scene before her.

"Um…sir?" Hill said.

"Please take him to Agent Coulson," Fury said handing Loki over to her.

"Um…ok." Hill said walking away.

*o*O*o*

Later Fury got a call over his walkie-talkie…

"Director Fury, sir." Coulson said over the radio.

"Agent Coulson." Fury said.

"We can't get Loki to stop crying," Coulson said.

"Ok?" Fury said "What am I supposed to do about it?"

"He screaming your name and he won't let anybody touch him," Coulson said.

Fury sighed and said "I'll be right there."

When Fury got to where Coulson, Hill, and about 5 other agents where trying to calm down a screaming Loki…

"Fury!" Loki cried and ran to him hugging his legs.

"AWWW!" Coulson, Hill, and the rest of the agents cooed.

Fury gave them a death glare before picking up Loki and said "Hi."

Loki just nuzzled his face in Fury's neck, and some of the agents took pictures.

"Sir I think it's best if he stays with you," Coulson said.

"Why?" Fury said.

"So he doesn't drive us crazy with his constant screaming!" One agent exclaimed "I signed up to protect the universe, not babysit!"

Fury look at her and she stared right back and said "He's your problem now, bye bitches."

And walk out of there with a much sassy as a diva.

"Agent Coulson, who was that?" Fury asked.

"Agent Zoom, sir." Coulson said.

"Give her a nice pay raise from me will you," Fury said walking out of the room with Loki.

*o*O*o*

Later the Avengers came to take Loki back to the tower, and found him asleep on Fury's chest, and Fury was knocked out…

"This is just so fucking adorable!" Tony said taking pictures with his phone.

Then Fury woke up and said "Tell me you're here to take him back."

"Yes, Sir," Steve said picking up sleep Loki carefully.

"You did good Uncle Nick," Clint said patting Fury's shoulder before walking out of his office.

_'These idiots are going to give me a stroke one day.' _Fury thought as he went to work.

*o*O*o*

**This took all day to write I so mad at myself, review please.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	6. We lost Loki

**Ok, double updates; I might have had a little too much fun with this.**

** *o*O*o***

The next morning Clint screamed and everybody rushed to see what was wrong…

"I can't find Loki!" Clint exclaimed. And everybody immediately started searching for Loki, even Fury who had come for a surprise inspection…

"Did you find him?" Clint asked Fury.

"No, you?" Fury asked. Clint shook his head and he and Fury went into the kitchen. Then they heard giggling and they look up to see Loki on the ceiling looking down at them…

"Sir, you see that too, right?" Clint said with his jaw dropped.

"Yes," Fury said with his jaw dropped. Then Loki crawled into the living room and Clint and Fury followed him and Fury said "Get Thor,"

"Screw Thor! We need an exorcism!" Clint exclaimed.

"Then call a damn priest while you're at it!" Fury shouted.

"Hey did you guys find Loki?" Steve asked with the other Avengers trailing behind him. Clint just pointed to the ceiling and the Avengers jaws dropped including Thor's.

"Called a damn priest!" Tony and Steve shouted.

"That's what I said!" Clint exclaimed.

"We need a damn exorcism!" Natasha exclaimed.

Bruce and Thor just nodded, and then Loki dropped from the ceiling into Fury's arms, and everybody sighed in relief until Bruce said "We should call Sapphire."

Everybody tensed up except for Fury…

"Bruce have you lost your mind!" Tony exclaimed "Sapphire will murder us!"

"Who's Sapphire?" Fury asked.

"Loki's girlfriend." Tony said.

"Loki has a girlfriend?" Fury said.

"Yeah here a picture." Tony said pulling up a picture of Sapphire on his phone.

Fury eye widens at the picture and he says "No way, him?" and points to Loki.

"Yep,"

"Her?"

"Humph."

"No."

"Believe it."

"Believe what?" Sapphire said coming from the elevator. Everybody jumps and looks at each other.

"Sapphire we have to tell you something…" Steve said.

*o*O*o*

After one long explanation later and restraining Sapphire from clawing Fury's and Thor's eyes out Sapphire had calm down….

"Ok, Loki might have retain his cat like ability hence he can stick to the ceiling," Sapphire said.

"That explains a lot," Bruce said.

"Ok, I'm going to go to my apartment and come back tomorrow with somebody that can help," Sapphire said getting up and with a flash of black light she was gone.

"She scares me." Fury said.

"She scares all of us," Clint said taking Loki to bed.

*o*O*o*

**Yeah that's right I scare Fury and all of the Avengers, review please.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	7. An Underpants Party on the Helicarrier

**Ok, I'm writing this in my class period, I hope I don't get caught.**

** *o*O*o***

The next day Loki was on the ceiling again and Steve fainted as soon as he saw him again…

"Hey, why did Steve faint?" Tony asked. Then Loki started giggling and Tony looked up and yelled "Clint, Bruce Loki's on the ceiling again!"

Bruce, Clint, and Thor rushed into the living room and Loki dropped from the ceiling and fell on Steve's chest rudely waking up the super solider…

"OOF." Steve said. Loki just looked at the solider and hugged him before walking off to Clint and said "Fury."

Clint looked behind him, but Fury wasn't there, and Loki said "Fury."

"I think he wants to visit Fury," Bruce said picking Loki up.

"Then let's go," Tony said walking towards the elevator with the rest of the male Avengers trailing behind.

*o*O*o*

On the Helicarrier Fury was staring at the male Avengers who had Loki in their arms…

"Fury!" Loki squeals and attached himself to Fury's leg.

"AWWWW!" the Avengers and S.H.E.L.I.D agents say.

"He's not staying." Fury said picking Loki up.

"What if one of us stays so he can visit you and stop complaining," Tony said.

Fury nods and Clint said "Bruce is staying, bye!"

Bruce and Fury mouths are gaping open as the male Avengers run as fast as they can.

"So um…" Bruce said. Fury just hands him Loki and walks off in the other direction. Bruce looks at Loki and Loki stares back and Bruce said "Why don't we go to the lab?"

Loki nods excitedly and Bruce walks to the lab on the Helicarrier.

*o*O*o*

Bruce works and glances at Loki every few minutes but the next time he turns around Loki's missing…

"Uh-oh," Bruce said.

"What's uh-oh?" Fury said coming into the lab.

"I lost Loki," Bruce said.

"Um, sir?" Coulson said walking into the room.

"Agent Coulson." Fury said.

"I found Loki," Coulson said "Hill, said he was on the ceiling in the control room."

Bruce and Fury rush to the bridge to see S.H.E.I.L.D agents looking up at the ceiling were Loki was crawling around…

"Oh my god somebody call a priest!" one agent said.

"Why a priest!?" another shouted.

"To do an exorcism, idioit," the agent shouted.

"I did not sign up for this!" Another agent shouted.

"Everybody calm down!" Bruce said and everybody shut up. Loki look down and said "Fury." And crawled to the stop were Fury was and dropped from the ceiling into Fury's arms.

"Oh thank god," Bruce said.

Then Loki hiccup and Coulson hair caught on fire…

"Oh my god!" Coulson scream trying to put his hair out, Loki hiccup's again and the fires out.

"What the…" Fury doesn't finish his sentence before Loki hiccups and Fury's clothes disappear with the exception of his boxers. All the male agents cover their eyes and the female agents stare and the one who aren't staring faint…

"Um…sir," Agent Coulson said.

"I know." Fury said.

"Hey were back to pick up Loki," Tony said coming down the hall with the Avengers. When they saw Fury, Tony screamed "MY EYES!"

Clint was said "WHOA!" and covered his eyes and said "WHOA!" and cover Natasha eyes and said "WOHA!" again covering both his and Natasha's eyes; Thor stared blushing and looked away; and Steve fainted.

Loki hiccupped again and Fury's boxers we're gone and Agent Coulson cover his boss's manly parts with the file he had been holding. Bruce was trying so hard not to laugh, then Loki hiccupped again and Bruce was naked with exception of his boxers which were green….

"Ok, can I get some pants please?" Bruce said blushing. Then a flash of black light came into the room and Sapphire stood there…

"Hi, guys…What the hell!?" Sapphire said looking at Bruce and Fury "I you two are sexy but put on some damn clothes!"

Bruce and Fury started blushing and Bruce said "Can you help us?"

Sapphire snaps her fingers and Fury and Brue are dressed again and Sapphire takes Loki from Fury and said "I found a cure." And she pull out a baby bottle full of water and said "This should reversion the affects." And Sapphire fed it to Loki and handed him back to Fury. Slowly Loki transformed in to a five year old and stops. Loki woke up and looked at Tony and said in a five year old voice "Hi dad."

Tony blanches and Clint's starts laughing. Loki looks at Fury and said "Hi Uncle Fury."

"Ok…." Sapphire said "Loki will you excuse us for a second."

"Ok, miss." Loki said jumping out of Fury's arms and tap Coulson and said "Tag, you're it." And took off running with Coulson behind him.

*o*O*o*

"It works but it wasn't strong enough and I have to get some more," Sapphire said.

"How long will that take?" Natasha asked.

"I don't know," Sapphire said "I just get back to you when I can." And with that she was gone.

"Well, at least I'm not his dad anymore." Clint said.

"Yeah, but I am!" Tony said. Then Coulson ran into the room and said "Um quick question, can Asgardians jump around like cats?"

"Nope, just Loki retaining his powers," Bruce said "Why?"

"Loki jump off the bridge and landed in Hill's arms, and now I don't know where he is." Coulson said.

"How do we keep losing him!?" Steve exclaim.

Then they here giggling from under the table and Loki's head pop up and said "Hi."

"This is going to be a long wait," Clint said.

*o*O*o*

**Yep, Loki's 5 now, any suggestions, review please.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13 **


	8. Damn!

**Ok, I'm just running out of funny ideas, I need people to review please I'm desperate!Any who enjoy the reading.**

** *o*O*o***

Loki was very energetic for a 5 year old he always wanted to do something, like with Tony in his lab…..

"Hey dad can I touch this?" Loki asked pointing to a dangerous weapon.

"No," Tony said.

"This?"

"No,"

"This?"

"No,"

"HELL NO!" Tony said when Loki was about to touch the iron man suits. Loki flinches violently and knocks over some stuff that caught fire to Tony's suits….

"NO! MY BABIES!" Tony shouted "Dummy! Help!"

"I'm sorry!" Loki said with tears streaming down his face.

Tony put out the fire and said "It's ok, Loki lets go upstairs for a while."

*o*O*o*

And Bruce in his lab…

"Ok, and that's the periodic table." Bruce said.

"Uncle Bruce," Loki said.

"Yes," Bruce said.

"Where do babies come from?" Loki asked with his eyes as widen as dinner plates.

"Um…" Bruce said "I'll tell you when you're older."

Loki nodded and asked "What's that Uncle Bruce?"

"A test tube," Bruce said.

"What's that?" Loki said pointing to another thing.

"A beaker."

"What's that?"

"Fusion reactor."

"What's that?"

"The bathroom." And Loki ran off to pee.

*o*O*o*

Clint in the rafters…

"Hi Uncle Clint," Loki said coming up beside him.

Clint nearly fell from the rafters "Loki! How did you get up here!?"

"I climbed." Loki said sitting down.

"Oh."

"Uncle Clint,"

"Yes,"

"Can I shoot your arrows at Uncle Steve?"

"You can shoot him arrows but, you can't use mine,"

"What can I use?"

Then Clint pulled out a Nerf bow and arrow and handed them to Loki…

"Use these,"

"Thank you!" Loki exclaims and went to find Steve.

*o*O*o*

Steve in the gym…

"Ow! What the…" Steve said when a suction cup arrow hit him.

"Gotcha!" Loki said jumping out from behind a punching bag.

Steve just chuckled and said "You got me."

Loki looked proud before asking "Where's Aunty Natasha?"

"Upstairs," Steve said.

"Thank you," Loki said and hugs Steve before running back upstairs.

*o*O*o*

Natasha in her room…

"What the…Clint!" Natasha exclaimed.

Clint walked into the room and said "Yeah."

Natasha showed him the suction cup arrow in her hand and Clint started laughing before saying "Loki you can come out now."

Natasha raised her eyebrow before Loki fell from the ceiling in to her arms…

"Hi Aunty Tasha." Loki said with his plastic bow and arrow.

Natasha just smiled and said "How about you go find your brother Loki and play with him."

"Ok," Loki said walking out the room calling "Thor! Come play with me!"

*o*O*o*

Thor in the Living room….

"Where's Loki," Thor called out since they were playing hide 'n seek.

Thor heard a giggle and jump behind the couch but Loki wasn't there…

"Can't find me Thor!" Loki called from his hiding place on the ceiling.

"Ok, then I guess I will just have to eat all of Loki's favorite flavor Poptarts until he comes out," Thor joked and Loki landed an arrow in Thor's knee. Thor pretend to fall in pain and screamed "Oh no! He got me!"

Then all the Avengers burst into the living room, when they spotted the plastic cup on Thor's knee, they started laughing…

"Thor took an arrow to knee!" Clint and Tony sang before collapsing into a laughing fit.

Then Loki dropped down from the ceiling on to Thor's chest and said "You shall not have Poptarts!" and ran into the kitchen to protect his Poptarts.

*o*O*o*

And Fury on the Helicarrier…

Fury called a meeting of the Avengers to see if Bruce could fix Loki without waiting for Sapphire…

"Nope, I can't fix it," Bruce said.

"Why are we here again?" Tony said.

Before Fury could answer, Loki raised his hand….

"Yes Loki," Fury said.

"Uncle Fury I have a question," Loki said walking up to Fury and sat in the chair in front of him.

"Yes," Fury said.

"What's sex?" Loki asked.

As soon as he said that the Avengers choked on their drinks at the same time and started giggling, Fury just stared at Loki who was look back at him waiting…

"Yes Uncle Fury, what is sex?" Clint choked out.

"Well um…" Fury said starting to blush a little. Then Agent Coulson came into the room and said "Sir,"

Then all the Avengers shushed him and Coulson whisper "What?"

"Loki asked Fury what sex is!" Tony whispers back.

Coulson started turning a very bright shade of red along with Steve and Thor…

"Uncle Fury?" Loki said.

"Loki where did you hear that word?" Fury said.

"I heard Mr. Coulson and you talking about it with Uncle Tony and Uncle Steve, before Thor and Aunty Tasha came in the room," Loki said.

Steve, Fury, Coulson, and Tony turned a very deep shade of red, while Clint, Bruce, Thor and Natasha were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe.

"Oh, wow," Clint chocked out "I expect this behavior from Tony, But Coulson, Steve, Fury I am a shamed of you, corrupting Loki like that!"

"It's ok, Uncle Fury," Loki said "I already know what sex is."

Then everybody got quiet and Fury asked "Then what is sex Loki?"

"Well, sex is…" Loki started *Cue the long ass censored beep* **_(This part of the story has been censored for obvious reasons, but us you imaginations to figure out what 5 year old Loki said.)_**

When Loki was done explain in a very vivid detail what sex was, everybody was silent with eye's wide and jaws dropped…

"Loki, where did you hear that?" Fury asked.

"Uncle Bruce." Loki said and everybody turned to Bruce who was blushing with embarrassment.

"You taught him about sex!" Tony said.

"No," Loki said "He had a file on his StarkPad and I open it and read some of the stuff in there it was confusing that way I asked Uncle Fury."

"Ok, Loki can you go with Coulson for a second," Natasha said.

"Ok," Loki said walking with a very red Agent Coulson.

As soon as they were gone everybody including Fury started laughing…

"I haven't heard that kind of description of sex since I was in school!" Fury chocked out.

"Bruce!" Tony said "I don't know whether to be proud, jealous, and/or shocked that Loki learned about sex from you!"

"Hell, the man got his badge in the medical department if you know what I mean!" Clint shouted.

Everybody started laughing harder and Steve said "Well let's go check on Coulson, I'm pretty sure we have scarred him for life."

*o*O*o*

When they found Coulson he was stand on the bridge with a smirk on his face and Loki was explaining to all of S.H.I.E.L.D, some representatives from the pentagon, and the council what he learned about sex.

"And that's sex." Loki said proudly.

All of the S.H.I.E.L.D started clapping while the council and the representative's just look like would like to be somewhere else at the moment…

"Uh oh," Steve said.

Then the council and the representatives turn to Fury and said "Director Fury, we should reschedule this meeting, for about maybe 7 or 8 months from now."

"All in favor say I," a member said.

"I" everybody said.

"Ok, then um…bye," And everybody left.

When they didn't everybody burst out laughing again and Fury said "That was priceless!"

"Uncle Fury can we get some ice cream?" Loki said and everybody turn to Fury and he said "Sure why not."

"Yea!" Loki said hugging Fury and skipping off.

*o*O*o*

**Ok, I had to stop myself from laugh when I wrote this, I giggling like a mad woman in my class and my teacher kept giving me funny looks, Review please.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13 **


	9. Loki throws a fashion show

**Ok, I thought about this and I thought it would be funny. Enjoy.**

** *o*O*o***

Tony was looking for his clothes when Loki came into the room and jump on to the bed excitedly…

"DAD!" Loki shouted and bounced excitedly on the bed.

"Yes Loki," Tony said.

"Guess what I did!" Loki said bouncing around.

"What?" Tony asked.

Loki just giggled and said "You have to come to the living room to find out." And skipped away.

Tony shrugged and pulled on a pair of pants and walked in to the living where the rest of the Avengers and Fury were…

"What's going on?" Tony asked.

"Loki came and got us and told us to come into the living room." Bruce said.

"Loki called me, and told me come visit," Fury said.

Then Loki dropped down from the ceiling and said "Welcome to the first annual Loki fashion show, sponsored by S.H.L.E.I.D and Stark Towers!"

Everybody looked at Loki's attire, he was in a suit like to one in Germany with the scarf and he held up a plastic crown and said "And winners with be named the king and queen of fashion!"

Everybody looked at him and Thor said "Very well, what is the first challenge!"

Loki grinned and said "Formal wear!"

Everybody started laugh and got in to the clothes Loki picked out and Loki said "This is Loki Stark your designer, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and incredibly good looking host introducing my formal wear called **_dangerously awesome_**!"

Everybody started laughing and Clint said "He really is yours, Tony."

"He sure is I'm so proud!" Tony said.

Loki smiled and said "And the guest judges combined score will determine, if our models with get the crown or not!"

"Loki who are the judges?" Steve said. Loki grinned and said "Presenting Ms. Maria Hill, she is top of her class at S.H.L.E.I.D and second in command!"

Then Maria came into the living room with her S.H.L.E.I.D uniform on, Fury raised an eyebrow and she said "He was pouting and he looked so cute."

"Now for your second judge, Mr. Agent Coulson!" Loki said and Coulson walked out "Agent is… I don't know actually but he is the second greatest badass alive other than Uncle Fury!"

"Wait Agent?" Thor said.

"Yeah Thor his name is Agent," Loki said "I don't believe its Phil."

Tony, Clint, Bruce, Natasha and Fury started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Steve asked.

"Tony has been trying to convince everybody for a while that Coulson's name was Agent," Clint said.

"Thor are you sure he isn't my kid!?" Tony laughed.

"I'm sure man of iron." Thor said.

"And for your finally judge," Loki announced "Is the ever so handsome, dashing, smart, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, god, Loki Stark, Loki Stark is smarter than Tony Stark and Dr. Banner put together, awesomer than Thor and Clint, and more badass than Natasha and Fury combined."

Everybody laughed when Loki was done with his little commentary and then Loki said "Let's start the show!"

Natasha went first, she strutted down the makeshift walkway, next when Thor, then Clint, then Fury, then Steve, then Bruce, and last but no least Tony, Tony out did himself with the strutting.

"Now, causal wear! I'd like to **_Fabulous_**!" Loki said.

Everybody got into the casual wear and posed.

"Now, last but not least swim wear or as I like to call it **_sex on the beach_**!" Loki said.

Everybody started blushing a little at sex but changed in to the swim wear. The men wore speedo's and Natasha wore a bikini.

"Ok, time to pick the winner," Loki said "The queen goes to Mr. Tony Stark for being the best diva of the show!"

Everybody lost it after that, Loki put the crown on Tony's head and said "I deem you the queen of fashion and the world's greatest diva!"

"Thank you," Tony said dramatic way "I don't know what to say, I had nothing prepared," and then he pulled out a piece of paper and Loki said "And now for the king of fashion goes to Nick Fury for looking badass in a suit!"

Loki put the crown on Fury's head and said "Now the king and queen have to kiss for about 20 second in the name of fashion!"

Fury and Tony look at each other and Tony goes all diva and rolls his head and said "Oh hell naw! You need to pay me to do that!"

"You have to, it apart of the rules," Loki stated as a matter of fact.

Everybody was on the floor now holding their sides from laughing so hard…

"It's just a kiss," Clint said "It won't be that bad!"

"Please!" Loki said with puppy dog eyes.

Fury and Tony melted under the stare….

"It's just a kiss," Fury said turning to Tony.

Tony look at Fury, everybody got quiet with shit eating grins on their faces, Tony lean in with his lips pucker up and Fury covered his one eye and met Tony's lips and stayed like that for 20 seconds…

"Oh c'mon let's see some tongue," Clint said.

Everybody started laughing, and Fury and Tony came apart…

"Well, that was…" Tony started to say but Fury throw up on his suit.

"Oh my god! It was that bad!" Bruce exclaimed.

"I knew that would happen!" Coulson said "Pay up Steve!"

Steve shook his head but handed Coulson 20 bucks. Then Loki came up to Fury holding up two cups…

"Uncle Fury would you like Scotch or Listerine?" Loki asked innocently.

"Listerine," Fury said and Loki handed him the cup and said "Here's a tooth brush and some toothpaste."

"Thank you," Fury said.

"You're welcome," Loki said "Kiss my dad must have been traumatizing."

"Hey!" Tony said "I do not need this I'm calling my agent, I need a new gig."

"Why?" Natasha asked.

"Because I'm the queen of fashion!" Tony scoffed "I cannot work under these conditions!"

And Tony strutted out of there with the sass of a Latino woman…

"Wow, he is a diva." Fury said.

"And you're still a badass reincarnated, Uncle Fury." Loki said hugging him.

"DAWWW!" everybody said.

Fury just looked at them and hugged Loki back.

"Well, night everybody." Loki said "A handsome, dashing, smart, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, god needs his beauty sleep."

After he left Fury said "Well I'm going home, I need to scrub my lips clean of Tony, maybe bleach them too."

"Night Director Fury." Coulson and Maria said.

*o*O*o*

"Well that was funny," Clint said.

"Shut up." Natasha said.

"What?" Clint said and both Steve and Thor punched him.

*o*O*o*

**Ok, that's it for tonight. Love me in the review section.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	10. Arrow Wars

**Ok, so Lady Sif and the warriors 3 make an appearance in here, let little Loki create chaos.**

** *o*O*o***

Thor was playing video games with Loki when there was a flash of light and Lady Sif and Warriors 3 stood in the living room…

"My friends!" Thor boomed.

"Thor, how have you been?" Fandral said with a smile.

"Fine," Thor said, then Loki tugged at his sleeve and asked "Thor who are they?"

Then Sif and the Warriors 3 eyes narrowed and drew their weapons at the 5 year old…

"Liesmith!" Sif hissed and pointed her sword in his face and Loki stepped back behind Thor.

"You have a lot of nerve coming here," Volstagg said.

Loki started crying and Thor gave the Warriors a glare and they lower their weapons, then Tony and Steve walked in and Loki ran over to them and cried into Steve's chest…

"What's going on? Why is Loki crying?" Steve asked.

"My friends do not know of our situation," Thor said.

"They were going to hurt me and I didn't do anything," Loki sobbed.

"Hurt you?" Steve said staring at the warriors.

"The mean lady threaten to hurt me with her sword," Loki sobbed.

Sif looked a little smug until Tony blew up…

"You threaten him with a sword!" Tony shouted "His just a kid!"

"What's with all the yelling?" Clint said.

"Thor's friends threaten Loki with a sword," Steve said hugging Loki closer.

Clint immediately got his bow and arrow and said "Be glad Thor here or else I would have put an arrow through you eye socket."

Sif and the Warriors 3 lower their weapons and Fandral said "Thor what's going on?"

*o*O*o*

After one lengthy explanation again Sif and Warriors 3 were sitting in the living room waiting for Thor to come back out with Poptarts. Then Sif saw Loki come in the room…

"Thor, I can't find my bow," Loki said.

Fandral notice the bow on a high self and got it for Loki…

"Here you go Loki," Fandral said.

Loki smiled and took the bow and said "Thank you…um…"

"Fandral," Fandral said smiling.

"Fandral!" Loki said "Want to play arrow wars with me?"

Fandral looked over his shoulder, Sif shook her head, Hougn didn't do anything, and Volstagg shrugged…

"Ok," Fandral said.

"Ya!" Loki said "Let's get you a bow!"

Fandral followed the overly energetic 5 year version of Loki, to get another bow. While Sif, Volstagg, and Hougn stayed put and Thor came out with the Poptarts and said "Where's Fandral?"

"He went with Loki to play arrow wars," Sif said.

Thor looked worried for a second before he ran off to find Fandral and Loki in the middle of arrow wars…

"You'll never get me alive!" Fandral said ducking behind a makeshift fort.

Then an arrow zooms for out of nowhere and hit Fandral in the chest and Loki shouted "I got you!"

Fandral feigned dying and said "Oh no! The brave warrior Loki has defeated me, Thor avenge me!" and his eyes rolled back in his head and Fandral pretended to die. Thor shouted "I will avenge you Fandral!" and pick up the little bow and arrow and went to find Loki. Sif, Hougn and Volstagg stared at the pair and join in shouting "Revenge!"

Then Loki said "Wait, it's not fair that Thor has 3 people on his team!"

Everybody looked at each other and Sif said "I'm on Loki's team." And walked over to him and Loki said "Hi, your pretty."

Sif blushes a little and said "Thank you." and Loki handed her a bow and arrow.

"Let the war to avenge Fandral begin!" Volstagg shouted.

*o*O*o*

It was an all-out war between them at one point Volstagg had wandered into the living room and saw Sif and said "Ha ha Lady Sif, I have found you!"

Sif smiled and said "I'm just the distraction."

Volstagg lowered his bow and said "Distraction from what?"

Then Loki appeared in front of him hanging upside down from the ceiling and said "Me!" and shot Volstagg in between the eyes.

"Oh no! I'm dead!" Volstagg said before dying.

Sif looked at Loki and said "How can you climb on the ceiling?"

Loki shrugged and said "I just can."

Then Hougn came into the room with is bow and started shooting and Sif grabbed Loki and ducked behind the couch. Loki said "Oh no! Sif!" noticing the arrow on her chest. She gasped and said "Loki avenge me." And died. Loki jumped from behind the couch and shot Hougn in the chest and Hougn died and Thor came in the room and Loki shot him in the knee and then shot him in his chest and said "Yeah! I win!"

Everybody got up and laughed, and Fandral walked into the room and said "Did you avenge me?"

"Yes," Sif said "And we loss."

"But I avenged Sif!" Loki said jumping up and down.

Everybody looked at Sif and she blushed and said "Well…"

"And as a reward for bravery I deem everybody shall have ice cream!" Loki said.

And everybody shouted "Ice cream!"

*o*O*o*

Later the Avengers found Loki and Thor's friends watching Batman Begins on the flat screen while eating mint chocolate chip ice cream.

*o*O*o*

**Yeah, my brained turned to mush writing this, review.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	11. Hide 'n seek on the Helicarrier

**Ok, so I was listening to the radio and I heard an advertisement about a cancer survivor victim and how she was teaching her daughter to play hide 'n seek, and this happened. Enjoy.**

***o*O*o***

Loki was bored and decided to ask Tony a question…

"Dad?" Loki said.

"Yes, Loki," Tony said looking up from his tablet.

"Can we visit Uncle Fury?" Loki asked.

Tony looked thoughtful for a second and said "Sure let's go bother Uncle Fury."

"Yea!" Loki said and ran to the elevator.

*o*O*o*

When Tony and Loki got on the Helicarrier, Loki was bouncing with excitement, when Loki and Tony saw Fury at the bridge; Loki ran up and hugged him…

"Uncle Fury!" Loki exclaimed hugging him.

Fury caught by surprise and said "Hello Loki."

"Hey so he wanted to spend the day with you so bye!" Tony rambled and ran away.

"I really hate it when he does that." Fury said.

"So what are we going to do first?" Loki said practically about to explode.

"Um…." Fury thought for a moment and said "Hide 'n seek."

"What's that?" Loki asked.

Fury sighed and explained the rules.

*o*O*o*

"8…9…10 ready or not here I…hi." Fury said as he turned around to see Loki had not move from the place he had started.

"Hi." Loki said.

"You're supposed to be hiding," Fury said.

"But what if you don't find me," Loki asked.

"Loki, I'll always find you how about we go over the rules again," Fury said.

"Ok," Loki said.

*o*O*o*

An hour and half later Fury was looking for Loki which he couldn't find…

"Wow that kid is good." Fury said to himself.

"He Nicky boy I'm here for Loki," Tony said walking up to him.

Fury glared at him before saying "I can't find him."

"What!? You lost him!?" Tony exclaimed.

"No, I suggested we play hide 'n seek and he hid pretty well," Fury said.

"How long have you been longing for him?" Tony deadpanned.

"Any hour and a half ago," Fury said.

"Ok," Tony said pulling out his phone and called the Avengers to help look for Loki.

*o*O*o*

Another 2 hours went by and nobody could find Loki…

"Ok, new rule no hide 'n seek on the Helicarrier," Steve said.

"Any luck," Fury asked.

Everybody shook their head and then Natasha said "Wait, where's Clint?"

"I found him," Clint dropping down from the rafters with Loki in his arms.

"Loki, oh thank god," Fury said then Loki looked mad and said "No, you promise you would find me."

"Sorry?" Fury said.

"Even Phil and Maria found me," Loki pouted.

"Coulson and Hill found Loki before you," Bruce said.

"And so I didn't get bored Phil gave me his tablet and I beat his fruit ninja score…twice." Loki pouted glaring as much as a 5 year old could muster, even Fury looked a little sheepish.

"Twice dude," Clint said shaking his head.

"I'm hungry," Loki said and as if on cue his stomach growled.

"How about pizza?" Tony said.

Loki jumped from out of Clint arms and said "I'll only forgive Uncle Fury, if…"

Fury looked at him and Loki said "He has pizza and ice cream with us, and watches a movie with us."

Everybody looked at Fury and he said "Sure why not."

Loki hugged Fury and said "Awesomeness, the greatest badass lives!"

"Aww!" Everybody said.

*o*O*o*

In the end Fury fell asleep next to Loki in the living room watching _The Dark Night _and eating strawberry ice cream.

"This is so cute," Tony said snapping a picture.

"I know," Clint said grinning.

*o*O*o*

**Yep, hide 'n seek on the Helicarrier, Review please.**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	12. Loki and Coulson

**Ok, so a 'Guest' review told me that there need to be Loki and Coulson action, so here you go!**

***o*O*o***

The Avengers had to save Manhattan again and left Loki with Fury but Fury had to go to a meeting with the council, so he was left with Coulson. Coulson still had yet to recover from the 'sex talk' Loki had with them and was a little mentally scarred, but he agrees to look after him. Coulson was on his computer working and Loki was playing with his action figures, the next time Coulson glanced up Loki was standing beside him, and he would be lying if he say it didn't scare the crap out of him…

"AHHH!" Coulson yelped and Loki stared at him.

"I'm bored," Loki said.

"Ok, so what do you want to do?" Coulson said and that was the famous last words.

*o*O*o*

Coulson was holding Loki above his head and jogging around the Helicarrier playing airplane with him.

"Now to the lower wing!" Loki said jumping from Coulson's arms and running to the lower wing of the Helicarrier with Coulson trailing behind him.

Loki dashed into the room and the entire S.H.I.E.L.D agents on that level stopped what they were doing and watch Loki climbed into one of the jets and sat in the seat of one of them. When Coulson started looking for Loki, all the Agents pointed to the jet and Coulson climb up the ladder to see Loki pretending to fly it.

"Hey, let's go bake some brownies," Coulson said. Loki hopped out of the jet chanting "Brownies! Brownies! Brownies!"

*o*O*o*

After a small baking fiasco (Loki makes the kitchen explode). They were back in Coulson office painting, Loki was painting ancient ruins on his paper, and Coulson paper had a message that said "Kill me now."

*o*O*o*

Later Fury and the Avengers came into Coulson off ice to find Loki playing with his action figure once again and Fury asked "Loki where's Coulson?"

Loki pointed to the couch where Coulson was knocked out.

"He said it was his napped time." Loki whisper putting his finger to his mouth.

Then Avengers and Fury pulled out there phone snapped a few picture before grabbing Loki and leaving the sleeping agent.

*o*O*o*

**A little short but more to come, Review please!**

**Luv,**

**Seriakiller13 **


	13. Loki and Maria

**Ok, so another guest suggested I do random shield agent too, so I'm doing Maria Hill, everybody knows her, but still, enjoy.**

***o*O*o***

Loki was on the Helicarrier again only this time Agent Hill had him, because Fury and Coulson were in meetings, so Maria got stuck with him.

"Ms. Hill?" Loki innocent 5 year old voice said.

"Yes, Loki?" Maria said.

"I'm bored," Loki said.

Maria looked thoughtful for a second and said "How about I show you how to shoot a gun."

Loki's eyes got wide and said "Really?"

Maria nodded and said "Come on."

Loki followed her at her heels to the shooting range.

*o*O*o*

"Ok, so you got it?" Maria shouted since she had headphones on.

"Got it!" Loki shouted back.

"Ok, shoot!" Maria shouted like a drill sergeant.

Loki pulled the trigger and rounds went off, and when the ballistics came forward, Loki would have killed the guy with the first bullet.

"I did it!" Loki shouted waving the empty gun in the air.

Maria picked him up, and took off the head phones and said "Now who wants a cookie?"

"I do!" Loki said.

*o*O*o*

Maria was sitting with Loki in the break room with a plate full of cookies, and then the alarm went off say that H.Y.D.R.A agents were on the Helicarrier. Maria told Loki to stay put and ran to the bridge.

*o*O*o*

The Avengers and shield agents where taking down hydra agents, when the rounded up the last of the agents Maria was walking back to Fury, when an Agent came out of nowhere with a gun and was about to shoot, when somebody shot the gun out of his hand.

"What the…" Fury said.

Then Loki stepped forward with a gun and said "Stay away Uncle Fury and Ms. Hill or else it would be your hand the next time."

Everybody looked at the 5 year old with shocked expression, and Loki turned to Maria and said "You left the door open; I got one of the guns we used for practice and loaded it like you showed me."

Maria couldn't help it, she picked up Loki and hugged him and said "I'm so glad I thought you how to use a gun!"

Fury, Coulson, and the Avenger said "You thought him how to use a gun!?"

"Yes, and we had cookies afterward," Loki jumping from her arm and showed them his ballistics.

Fury, Coulson, Natasha, Clint, and Steve's eyes widen; Bruce, Tony, and Thor's jaw drops.

"Loki could have killed him, with these ballistics," Clint said.

"Hey, Uncle Fury can you teach me how to use a bazooka?" Loki said tugging Fury's coat.

"Sure," Fury said, everybody looked at him and Loki said "Yeah!"

"I'm hiding all sharp and pointy objects, when we get home," Tony said walking away.

*o*O*o*

**Yep, that happen, review!**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	14. Loki and A Bazooka

**Ok, so remember how I said in the last chapter Loki was going to use a bazooka, well, here you go.**

***o*O*o***

Fury kept his promise and though Loki how to use a bazooka without actually shooting it.

"Ok, got it," Fury said.

"Got it!" Loki said and accidently launches it and blow up a billion dollar jet.

"God I hope nobody was in there," Fury said taking the bazooka back and picking up Loki he walked back into the Helicarrier.

*o*O*o*

Later that day Doctor Doom was attacking the city, and the Avengers where getting out numbered on the Helicarrier Fury was trying to find a solution, when one of the Agents said "Um…Sir, Loki's gone, and so is a bazooka."

"Motherfucker!" Fury said and rushed to lower wing.

*o*O*o*

On the ground Loki was dragging the bazooka behind him and loaded it and shouts to Doom "Hey! Down here!"

Doom looked down at Loki and said "What the…? Loki?"

Loki just nods and said "Stopped attack the city, I don't want to use this."

"Is that a 5 year holding a bazooka?" Steve said through the comm lines.

Everybody turned into the direction of Loki and Doom, stopped fighting and was running over to them.

Doom just laughed and said "You don't have the guts to shoot me."

"I don't know want to find out," Loki said as threating as a 5 year old could.

Doom glared at him and was about to leave when Loki launch it and it hit Doom in the chest exploding sending him through 7 different buildings with heavy duty walls.

When Doom landed and groaned "Damn." Before blacking out.

*o*O*o*

The Avengers saw what happen and hugged Loki and made sure he was ok, and Fury came and got the bazooka.

"I did it!" Loki said "Fear my awesomeness!"

"Doom got away but I don't think he'll be messing with us anytime soon," Fury said.

"You though him how to use a bazooka," Tony said.

"Yeah, I didn't think he use it," Fury said.

Tony just started the suit and said "Again going to hide all sharp and pointy objects at home."

"Can we get ice cream?" Loki asked.

Thor tussled his hair and said "Of course brother!"

"Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!" Loki chanted.

*o*O*o*

**And that is what would happen if Loki had a bazooka, and review!**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	15. Loki and Pepper

**Wow, I have seriously forgotten to write about this fic, so enjoy the chapter I whipped up on a whim.**

** *o*O*o***

Tony was awakened by somebody poking his shoulder the next morning…

"Dad," A small voice said.

"Hmm," Tony groaned and the poking begins to go into tapping.

"Dad," the voice continued.

Tony opened his eyes to see 5 year Loki next to a very angry Pepper Potts, Tony had forgotten to tell Pepper about the situation.

"Oh! Hi Pep, what's going on," Tony said trying to stay as calm as possible.

Pepper was about to start yelling at him, but Loki said "Dad, can we eat breakfast with the pretty lady?"

Pepper blinked at Loki and Tony quickly said "Sure we can, right after I have some alone time with Miss Potts."

"Ok, bye Miss Potts," Loki said going to go wake up the other Avengers.

"Ok, now would be a great time to start explaining," Pepper said.

"Ok, you see…" Tony started.

*o*O*o*

At breakfast everybody watch as Pepper talked to Loki…

"So Loki, how old are you," Pepper asked.

Loki mumbled something with his mouth full.

"I'm sorry?" Pepper asked.

Loki swallowed and said proudly holding up 5 fingers "I'm 5 years old."

"Oh, ok," Pepper said.

"Miss. Pepper are you my mommy?" Loki asked.

And everybody dropped everything in their hands at the moment, and stares at Pepper who was unfazed at the question and said "No, Loki."

"Ok," Loki said picking up his plate with Pepper's.

"Aww aren't you the little gentleman," Pepper cooed.

"Thor, can I spend the day with Miss. Pepper," Loki asked Thor.

"Of course brother," Thor said ruffling Loki hair.

Loki jump for joy before running to his room to change.

"Pepper, are you all right with taking Loki with you today," Tony asked.

"Sure how bad can it be," Pepper said.

*o*O*o*

At the office, Pepper was in a meeting and she left Loki in her office on the computer with a 2 hour long movie, when she got back, he wasn't at her desk, Pepper frantically searched the building for look, and at the worst possible moment Tony came to check on Loki…

"Hey Pep, how's Loki," Tony said.

"Funny thing…I kind of lost him," Pepper said.

Tony shook his head and said "Ok, think when did you last see him?"

"At my desk playing games on the computer," Pepper said.

Tony went to the computer open a file and it showed security footage of the entire building.

"How did I not know about that?" Pepper asked.

"I never told you Pep," Tony said with a smirk.

Then the two saw Loki in the lunch room and the two ran down stairs to see him playing chess, with one of the board members.

"Loki," Pepper said hugging the 5 year old.

"Hi, miss Pepper," Loki said hugging her.

"When are you down here instead of in my office?" Pepper asked.

"I got hungry and I decided to walk downstairs, and then I got lost and a nice guy in a suit showed me here, and Mr. Larry here saw me just sitting here and play chess with me until you got back." Loki explained.

Pepper looked at the board member who said "I have kids of my own Miss Potts, I didn't want him to get lost."

"Thank you Larry, I'll see you at the next board meeting," Pepper said scoping Loki up and carrying back to her car with Tony behind her.

*o*O*o*

Later Pepper tucked Loki in to bed because he said and I quote_ 'She very smart and pretty.'_

"Well, Tony you are doing a good job with him," Pepper said.

"What was that, I didn't hear you," Tony said sticking out his ear.

Pepper smirk and said "You are for once now screwing up."

Tony then fist pumped and said "My life is now complete."

Pepper just laughed and left Tony to his antics.

*o*O*o*

**This took, so long to write! It will only be worth it if you Review!**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


	16. Loki goes to the Park

**I apologize for not updating this story again, but I have now updated it, that you my loyal followers for being patient with me and enjoy.**

** *o*O*o***

Loki was bored so he decides to ask if the Avengers would take him to the park, the Avengers agreed and packed a picnic basket and drove to central park. Loki was running around freely, and everybody smiled and watched him…

"You know I don't mind Loki this way," Tony said.

"Yeah he is cuter," Bruce said.

"But he can't stay this way forever," Thor said.

"Well, whenever Sapphire comes back with that stuff I guess we can enjoy pint sized Loki for the time being," Clint said.

"And it looks like he made a friend," Natasha pointed out to the brown hair little girl about Loki's age play with him.

"I wish I had a camera," Steve said.

The Loki and the little girl ran over and Loki said "Hey, everybody this is my new friend Vanessa, Vanessa this is my Dad Tony, my uncles Clint, Bruce, and Steve, my aunt Natasha and my big brother Thor."

"Hi," Vanessa said "Loki said you were having a picnic, can I join you?"

"Sure, the more the merrier," Steve said and Loki and Vanessa sat down and Loki and Vanessa started talking about random things. Everybody watched the interact smiling then the two went back to play, then a familiar voice said "Well, I think seeing my boyfriend like this is very cute this way."

Everybody spun around to see Sapphire in a black tank top and black shorts…

"Lady Sapphire," Thor said.

"Hello," Sapphire said sitting down.

"You're not here to bring bad new are you?" Tony asked.

"I found more of that stuff to turn Loki back to normal," Sapphire said helping herself to a sandwich "But it's going to take about a month to brew."

"So..." Steve questioned.

"Can you guy handle this for another month?" Sapphire asked.

"Sure," Bruce said quickly.

"Well, that's all I needed to know," Sapphire said "Now if you will excuse me, I got work to do." And disappear once more.

"Well, we got month," Natasha said.

"Then let's make it count," Clint said.

Then Loki came back over and said "Hey can we go for ice cream, pretty please?"

Thor smiled and said "Of course brother."

And Loki proceeded to run around in circles with his arms spread out saying "Ice cream!"

*o*O*o*

**Well, any ideas, review!**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


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